Corporate-Gift-Basket Fallout After The Fall Of My House Of Cards - Pt 2

Corporate-gift-basket: Life is Becoming More Positive by
The Day

Everything in my life is really jelling; I'm wandering when
I am going to wake up from this dream. It is January 1991
and working with this company for 4 years (in March). March
next year on my anniversary will qualify me to receive a
company diamond ring and a pay raise to 6 figures and extra
bonuses.

I am back home in Los Angeles to build the 105 freeway.
This is the freeway that will run from Norwalk to L.A.
International Airport (LAX). It's kind of funny, the first
project I worked was repaving the left runway and taxiways
for LAX. One morning, as I prepared to go to work,
something was wrong.

Corporate-gift-basket: A Turn For The Worst

As I was conversing with my spouse, she also noticed
something unusual. I had slurred speech & my words were
garbled. Words like 'rosencranse', there is no such street
in Los Angeles. Anyway, I went to the job site, opened the
building, turned on all the computers, as all of the
engineers will be in shortly.

Made coffee and began managing payroll. The project manager
just walked in. As I turned to put some time-sheets in
order, I became stumped. I didn't know what to do next. The
project manager noticed it also. He said, "Just relax
yourself." He then called my brother and asked him to take
me to the hospital.

Within less than 10 minutes we were on our way. The Doctor
asked me several questions; all were simple with no answers
from me. He then gave me a pencil and paper for me to write
my name, the only right answer. He turns to my brother and
said he has had a stroke. We are going to keep him.

Corporate-gift-basket: By far The Worst Days of My Life

At that point I began to cry, not whaling, just tears. The
doctor comforts me as he explains that crying is a normal
reaction with stroke victims. All the time, I am thinking
about how close 14 months and I would have completed my
career goal for my family and me. I then began to cry.

For the next month I end up in this hospital. After that I
am enrolled in therapy for the next 6 months. After 3
months my therapist asked would I like to try going back to
work. I said, "I would like to try."

She took me to the job site. After maybe five minutes I was
in tears again. I don't see ever going back to my regular
job again (at least no time soon). My therapist had to
agree with me. It made me feel more that 'disabled', even
though I am (it that make any since).

I made up my mind (what's left of it) to spend as much time
and energy to re-learn what I've learned before the stroke.
I am a joker but not a quitter. Quitting is another way of
saying surrender.

Corporate-Gift-Basket: Past Milestones Like Finding Wisdom

One fine day, a package came for me. It was a
corporate-gift-basket. Attached to the corporate gift is a
card signed by all of my friends at the company. The
corporate-gift-basket incensed me. Bittersweet feelings
went all through me all at once.

My personal goal was only oh so close, yet so far away.
This company was my house of cards. When they sent the
corporate gift, I started to wonder if they were really in
touch with what I was feelings inside.

Was the corporate-gift-basket just a ploy to see how I
really felt about them? Was the company just sending a
corporate-gift-basket just as a normal course of things to
do in this situation? Or, was the corporate gift really
truly sincere? After receiving the corporate-gift-basket,
there were many unresolved issues in the back of my mind
that still haunt me to this very day.

Should I pursue them? I think not. Although, the main
question about everyone signing the same card that was
attached to the corporate gift, really puzzled me. Had it
been anyone that really truly cared for me, they would sign
the corporate-gift-basket card and send a personal gift and
card.

The people that I thought were close in the company didn't
call or try to follow-up to see how things are panning out
personally. Just as I was putting the finishing touches,
the world shook; the only thing left standing was the
shattered dream and of course the corporate gift. It could
have been worst.

Corporate-Gift-Basket: Insult and Injury

In 1998 I had another stroke (another milestone), and again
in 2000 (another milestone). Each of those strokes took
another part of me physically. Each of them were blessings
in disguise that also invigorated me to push through those
hard times and to see another day with fresh eyes.

As long as I live, I will always have milestones (whether I
am aware of them or not). Each milestone that I am aware of
tends to lead me to an ultimate truth in my life.
Previously, I was terribly short-sited and narrow in my
thinking.

Corporate-gift-basket: Conclusion

Today I am totally optimistic. The corporate-gift-basket
(milestone) I received in 1991 was the under pining that
drove me to see the real truth with new eyes (figuratively
speaking). Yesterday is dead and burned up, tomorrow is not
promised to anyone, this moment has promise, (only)as long
as I stay active and always moving forward.

I don't let moss grow under my feet. Each moment is
actually a milestone of my life (God willing). It has been
almost one day since I really started living my true dream
life; the longer I live to realize my next milestones (and
apply the truth in them) then, every moment becomes a
milestone to potentially enhance my life.

I look at my 1991 corporate-gift-basket (milestone)as
bought knowledge not devastation.



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